I definately had an interesting weekend. I was suppose to hang out with Chris again, but that didn't happen. I did, however, hang out with Kevin. We didn't do much until last night. We pretty much just sat around my house because everyone is broke. I also hung out with this kid Sam. He works with Josh at the pizza shop. This guy is huge! He's about 6'4'' and solid. I'm not even going to guess how much he weighs. He is also one of the funniest people I've met in awhile. I'm sure the story I'm about to tell won't be as funny as I make it seem but its just one of those things where you probably just had to be there... but I'll let you see for yourself.

Anywho... it was about 3a.m. I'll say, and Sam was out of cigs. Josh and I only had 1 left. Joking around Sam kept trying to wish for a cig so hard he was hoping one would magically appear. Kevin stepped in on the fun and told him that wasn't the way to do it. He said you had to sneak up on the pack of cigs. So Sam went running dowm my hallway to the front door and then back into the kitchen. Then he dove into the living room and onto the pack of cigs. While he was running room to room I had switched his pack with mine. (We were smoking the same kind and I had 1 left) And when he dove on the pack and opened... you should have seen his face! It was PRICELESS! It looked like he was going to cry and piss himself all at once. For a second I think he actually thought he wished for a cig so hard that it came true. All that time he was trying to be funny and make us laugh. He thought he was in control and then I pulled it right from underneath him. What made it even funnier for us I guess other than being there is we were all a little tipsy.

I must look really young. I went across the street, with Sam, to the turkey hill to buy some cigs for all of us. I walked into the store and asked if he had specials with marlbore menthol lights and before I even actually asked for cigs or bought them.... "CAN I SEE YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE!!" He said it all mean like... and strict. He was a grease monkey... he pissed me off. I don't know though... Probably bc it was 5 in the morning.

alright, well I guess I'm going to try to go to bed even though its only 10. I didn't get much sleep last night. B'bye

Well this has been a busy week. Jes picked me up in Jersey sunday night to go to Natalie's viewing. I went to her funeral on Monday. It also felt like a highschool reunion. Going there made every thing a reality... she's really gone. I wasn't best friends with her and I haven't seen her since 2003 so I felt kind've weird being there. They passed out this thing at her funeral. It was a poem written by her and one by her sister. Everyone who hears about this poem wants a copy whether they knew her or not. So I am going to post it on here for whoever wants it.

Heroin

By Natalie Cribari

written December 25, 2005

• Through poison-tainted veins, I feel
• A warmth that soothes, but is surreal
• It's funny how we became acquainted
• He made me quiver, I almost fainted.
• He seemed so cool, so calm, and sweet
• He swept me off my virgin feet.
• We fell in love, or so I thought
• My soul, NOT my love, is what he sought
• He hid his identity with a comforting mask,
• Only to disguise his horrid task
• With every kiss, he sucked me dry.
• His soft caress was all a lie.
• He came inside me, just a tiny prick
• It made me lightheaded, and a little bit sick
• He abused me raw, 'til my arms were sore
• My cheekbones were visible
• But I craved him more.
• He made me chase him
• And steal, lie and cheat
• He wore dowm my body
• Until I fell in defeat.
• He cackled at my pain
• His full destruction of me
• But I am too dopesick
• That this I can't see.
• Still, I begged and I pleaded
• For him to return
• An ongoing cycle
• Why didn't I learn?
• So at night I fell asleep
• With him by my side
• But woke up with no one
• "He promised!"(He lied.)
• So today, again, I make it
• My priority, my chore,
• To find him in vain
• And again be his whore.
• His passion I want
• I crave and I need
• The rush that I get
• Fill that indeed
• I may never make it
• But to you, I dear say
• If he should strut by, look the other way
• He'll charm you and flirt
• With his deadly advances
• He'll shower you with false promises
• And convincing romances
• He could come upon you, any old day
• With that twinkle in his eye
• And his look that could sway
• This is your warnin', so darlin' take heed
• What he does offer you, you surely don't need;
• A handful of problems, a life that is dark
• In no time he'll have you,
• And your gravestone he'll mark.

You and your family will forever be in our thoughts. RIP Natalie, I hope you found your peace!

Well... yesterday was my daughter, Angela's, first birthday! She was so bad!!! She hit terrible 2's a yr early!! She is a little better today. Maybe it was bc it was her 1st day home in about a week. We spent Monday at Jes' parent's house. She loved it! She got to run around the entire house and chase her dogs and cats. TJ is terrified of the baby and trixie tried licking her to death. lol but it was fun. And she adores Candy! We'll come back to visit!!

But on that note, I have to go tend to her ... ttyl

I'm going to Jersey tonight. I'm not sure what my family has planned for us yet. (us being angela and me.) Josh has to stay in PA bc he has to work. We will prolly have a small bday party for Angela bc she will be 1 on April 4th. Sadly, we will be in pa for her bday. I get to take her to the beach for the first time in her life! She needs a new bathensuit. I'll be back sometime on Sunday.

A friend died the other night. I wasn't best friends with her. I hung out with her at Kevs house. I hung out with her sister a couple times as well. I'm going to the viewing sunday night with Jes. I think jes is picking me up from Jersey to go with her and we're going to the funeral Monday, I think. Anyway, Natalie and her family will be in my thoughts!

I have a feeling Josh is going to kill my fish while I'm gone. I need someone to remind Josh to feed the fish... hmm... I dunno maybe I'll just have to call him.

I got part of your message. I had to delete it quick bc I was making sure someone didn't call and leave a message. I had a couple messages to go thru b4 Josh got upstairs. He came home with me... I beat him to the answering machine.

Kevin comes home on Tuesday! I'm busy though, can't see him until wed night but I'm free friday night I think... lol I have to check my schedule. Night for now!

well Josh is off to work again. Today was suppose to his day off. Atleast he only works until 9 or so. I wont be alone all night.

This really sux! Our water pipe burst and now we don't have any water. So not only can I not make the baby formula, I can't go to the bathroom. Before Josh left for work he made us a lot of food. I swear I ate a good 5lbs worth...lol I feel huge.

Last night Josh was drinking with his boss after work and he bought himself a bottle of something. I know I don't drink it. So he bought me tropical martinis. Its 48proof. It is so good! I think we're drinking tonight since he gets off early and I think he has off tomorrow but I'm not sure.

Want to hear some fantastic news?!? My electric might get shut off tomorrow... we have about a $250 bill. We have to start making payments... it sux when you fall behind. I guess thats just what happens when you spend all your money trying to keep a car on the road.

Alright well I have to go read about new promotions from Mary Kay so I can inform my clients.... just got the new applause mag. night guys.